Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize