when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
