how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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