don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
