Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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