She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
