ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Even my vagina gasped.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
