Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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