I cockslap morals
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
