I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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