You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
