Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Alive.
So much puke
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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