Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
