that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
