My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
