Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
