Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
