look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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