How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
