We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize