My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
