Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
