And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize