yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
