I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
