I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
