You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
