On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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