yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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