Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
