so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
