I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
