dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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