You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
