its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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