when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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