thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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