"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
