Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you would pick up someone in the library
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
