it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
