3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
