My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
as a side note pls kill me
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