do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i drank out of a bidet.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
