i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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