I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
