Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
