i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this just has baby written all over it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
