Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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