I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize