omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
