is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
