Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
