I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
