they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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