So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
