69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
