You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Alive.
So much puke
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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