"it" just moved
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
