just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We just shotgunned beers for America
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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