At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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