Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
