doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize