I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
