the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
