it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
