Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
