I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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