My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I forget how to act sober
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
