The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
