Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
