Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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