his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
