I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
