This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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