Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
