drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
