i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
