We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
tell me about the fingering
Randomize