Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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