K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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