oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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