If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
