someone get that fucking seahorse.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
